ADVICE FOR MOVING ABROAD

 
“Oh my goodness, you’re so lucky! I wish I got the chance to move abroad!”
“Wow, you must be so excited!”
The main two things I hear when I tell my friends and family we are moving to another country. Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of how ‘lucky’ I am and, yes, I am excited, but as well as the excitement and adventure that moving away from home brings, it can also be really quite scary. Luckily, I consider myself a seasoned traveller and a little bit of an old hand at this now, so here are some of my tips and experiences.
My first non-UK experience was my Erasmus year abroad at university. I studied for one semester at a university in Madrid, Spain, and the other semester at a university in Padova, Italy. Making friends was easy – Erasmus events were almost daily and you were never far from a fellow Brit. The Erasmus leaders put on weekly events such as karaoke night (where I forged a solid friendship with a British girl and a Swede when it was our turn for our rendition of ‘Super Trooper’), trips to other cities, and quiz nights. In my mind, moving abroad was easy and everyone should do it.
Then, university finished and my husband signed with a club in Gibraltar. We flew out and decided to live in Spain and I quickly realised that my Erasmus days were over; we were now flying solo. My social circle was just my husband and me. The men on his football team were nice but only one of them had a girlfriend who flew out to visit occasionally so it began to feel quite lonely. This is where one of my tips comes in! I went to see if I could get a job and, luckily, a local academy was looking for an English teacher.  I taught a group of Spanish adults every Tuesday and Thursday evening and I quickly noticed how much happier I was. They soon became my friends, and my husband and I even double-dated with one couple in the class. (I’m in touch with the majority of them still, all these years on!)
Then Covid struck and we had to move home. It was months of getting settled back into UK life (albeit restricted) until I got the “what do you think about moving to the north of Sweden?” from my husband. Sweden… I didn’t speak the language. I had never even been there on holiday. I didn’t even know anything about it that wasn’t IKEA or ABBA related. But, as ever, when the opportunity calls in football, you have to take it. So we packed our thermals and off we went.
This time around, I knew what I had to do. Friends weren’t going to come to me so I decided to be proactive. I reached out to the team physio who, my husband had told me, was Spanish. We met up and she introduced me to one of her friends. That friend then introduced me to another friend. And on it went. I realised that this was the key: reaching out. Everything starts by reaching out and, 2 and a half years later, at the same team, I had probably the best social life I have ever had.
I then found myself in the position of moving to Stockholm for my husband’s new team. I used an app called ‘GoFrendly’ where you can find like-minded female friends online and arrange to meet up. Facebook groups are also wonderful for meeting people nearby. There’s probably one for every town you’re in and, if there isn’t, why not start one yourself?! One thing I’ve found is that you really have nothing to lose. When you’re lonely you often feel like you’re the only person in your new town or city who doesn’t know anyone but, you’ll be so surprised at just how many people feel the same.
So if you are moving abroad, here are my main tips:
 

• Download “friend dating” apps or join your local Facebook groups.
• Ask your partner if any of the squad have wives/girlfriends. You can always start off simply and ask to sit with them to watch the game! Maybe even suggest you get a coffee beforehand.
• Join a gym or go to exercise classes. Zumba/Pilates are usually predominantly female anyway so you can always try to start up a conversation with someone there!
• Maybe getting a part-time job will help you meet people. It definitely helped me in Spain!
• Try to learn the language, either by going to night classes where you might meet people or you can learn from home. I actually have a language tuition company so if you are interested in learning the following languages then just give me a message and I would be more than happy to help you! (Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese, German, Russian)
• Don’t worry if you feel like an imposter to start with - it’s normal, but make sure you get out of the house and familiarise yourself with the area you’re living in. It’ll be your home for a while so try to find your favourite walks, restaurants, and places to visit.
• If your family/friends can come and visit you, that will help too! Plus, showing someone round your town can make you realise how well you know your new area, and you may even feel braver to go to the new nail salon you wanted to try if you have your friend with you. (Speaking from experience!)
• Enjoy it all.

I would absolutely recommend that everyone tries living abroad at least once in their life. I have met best friends who are like family who I never would have even met, seen the Northern Lights, lived right on the beach in Marbella, been Huskey sledding, ice-skated on a frozen lake… the list just goes on. As we all know too well, this crazy football life that we all live is full of such amazing adventures and experiences that go by so fast. We spend a lot of time looking to the future, worrying about where we will be next. But it’s so important to look back at what we’ve achieved and are capable of, and to live, wholeheartedly, in the present. As Dr Seuss says: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”